Bad news...

Well, I found that Tapeworm character, but I have bad news...he's headed off to volunteer at some junior high camp for the week. So...you'll have to wait again. I'm sure, if he could talk right now (I beat him up pretty bad), he would say that he's sorry.

Upbeats and shout-outs

Geez, this blog sucks. Whose job is it to update this thing anyway? I don't know, but whoever it is, he's asleep at the switch or something. While he gets his act together, I'd like to say a few things. i did actually go to the big city of Chicago recently and did some fun stuff. I'll cover them briefly in a little segment I like to call...

Chi-town Shout-outs

-Shout-outs to my friends at ComedySportz Chicago, who put on a great improv show, as they always do. A special shout-out to my good friend Tara, who was on the mic that night doing great sound effects, score keeping, and giving me a shout-out of my very own. She has a blog that's much funnier and updated much more often than mine. I recommend you check it out.

-A shout-out to the Museum of Science and Industry, for giving me the greatest experience I've ever had in a museum. While my mom was off viewing creepy plasticized people, I was having the time of my life at an exhibit on - get this - the history of video games. Over 100 games representing the entire spectrum of video gameology and they were all playable. And we went really early so I didn't have to wait to play at all. Some highlights definitely included rocking the original coin-op Ms Pac-Man, discovering The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy text adventure game, and finally getting my revenge on Parappa the Rappa. The first time I played it was on a demo machine in Target. I swear to this day that machine knew I was white and penalized me, because I was NOT rappin' "Awful."

-Shout-outs to the Chicago White Sox for demolishing the Dodgers and showing us a good game. An anti-shout-out to the drunk dude who was a jerk. It was wicked cold that night, so I had a blanket over my legs and the guy asked me if I was wearing a dress. Yeah dude, I'm wearing a dress. I enjoyed making fun of him as he was escorted off the premises.

That's about it from Chi-town. Not much luck apartment hunting, but I guess not many people look for a furnished apartment with a two or three month lease. I'm just special, I guess. Okay, I'll go whip that Tapeworm dude into shape. See if I can't get him to update more often.

Travels and trevails.

Okay, I lied. The cool picture posts aren't happening yet and now I'm going to Chicago for a few days for fun times with the parents and maybe a little apartment shopping. Man, that's crazy. Apartment shopping. That's big boy stuff. Ah, whatever. So here, as usual, are a couple pictures to tide you over until my return.



This is my character in Guild Wars, Pax Ascelpius. Note how cool he is. Note the awesome new Smiting Wand in hand. Notice how the very landscape glows in his presence. Note the regal features, yet approachable and kind demeanor. Note how there are about a billion hot lady characters (some of whom might actually be ladies in real life) just outside the frame waiting to make out with Pax. He's awesome.

This next one I have to link to because it's on a site that wants you to buy the picture, so they ingeniusly do not allow you to right-click and save. But believe me when I say that it is quite possibly the greatest graduation picture ever. Nice job, Raph. You shook your tassel in front of your face AND managed to look completely stoned at the same time.

Finally, some sad news. The New Church of the Mighty Ducks is sad to report the passing of one of their own. Lane Smith, who played opposing coach Jack Reilly in the original Mighty Ducks, passed away today at the age of 69. Many of you may also remember him as editor Perry White in The Adventures of Lois and Clark on ABC in the mid-90's. Coach Reilly was the guy you loved to hate, berating a young Bombay for missing that fateful penalty shot, then taunting him in adulthood (and yet looking like he hadn't aged a day), and Smith played him well. The NCMD wishes Smith peace as he heads to that great Minnesota ice pond in the sky.

Timmy Tapeworm, Keeper of the Cake
The New Church of the Mighty Ducks

To tide you over...

Okay, so I know I haven't posted in almost a week again. You'd think with no responsibilities and literally hours in every day in which I could be posting something hilarious and/or meaningful, I'd do it much more frequently. Ah, you'd think that. But you'd be wrong. It's Hambone.

And now I've decided to go to Des Moines for the weekend, so the awesome posting will be delayed yet again. So to Tide with New Color Guard you over, here are a couple awesome/embarassing pictures of me.

WARNING!! NUDITY!!



This is another shot from the road trip back in December. Josh and I woke up one morning and Josh decided that my hair was hilarious. So he took a picture. I'd like to apologize to the entire world for not putting a shirt on for said picture.



Then here's me in my awesome Walgreens glasses. Yes, they are genuine Blue Blockers. Or at least that's what they claimed. Although in retrospect, maybe they were Soviet knockoffs, because they were called Blue Bloc-ers. Anyway, my awesome Walgreens glasses were what inspired Josh to get HIS awesome Walgreens glasses that you saw in the last picture. So I had them first - just wanted to make that clear.

Okay, there you go. I promise that more picture posts of camping and stuff will come forthwith upon my return. Feel free to make up silly captions for these until then.

So cool a post...

Okay, so I realize I haven't posted in a week. But I've been really busy with this little thing called Guild Wars, and it's pretty important. Seriously, I've got quests out the wazoo, a ginormous map to explore, and guild brothers who are very demanding of my Monk/Elementalist healing prowess. I only let them die sometimes, when I'm mad at them. Sometimes I downright kill all of them. You can read all about my hilarious exploits at Scott's place.

I also spent a little time scanning some pictures from the year. I'll try and do some cool picture posts this week - some stuff from camping, some from DICEY, etc.

Here's a picture from the "Return of the R" road trip.



How cool is my brother? He looks like a cop in a 70's TV show, or maybe just the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" video. Plus, there's a blizzard. Awesome.