3.19.2005

The Vandals. No, not the band. The bad kind.

I love living in a college residence hall. The atmosphere of having a bunch of crazy kids living on their own for the first time in their lives is often intoxicating, both literally and otherwise. I love that I can go visit friends without going outside, because I'm both lazy and thin-skinned. Also, having someone fix my meals and clean my bathroom is awesome.

Unfortunately, that last perk only applies if you're allowed to get in your bathroom, which, for the last week, I have not been able to. I got back from a Saturday night of rabble-rousing (which for my circle of friends usually implies board games. We're a wild bunch.) to find a sign on my bathroom that read "Due to excessive vandalism, this bathroom will be closed until further notice." Apparently some jerk just went in there and tore up EVERYTHING, which is quite an accomplishment.

I responded with a note on my white board that everyone walks by on their way outside. I thought I tempered my bitter rankor with self-deprecation quite well:

"To the idiot(s) who vandalized the bathroom,

Congratulations! Your childish exploits have inconvenienced an entire floor. You should be very proud. Not that I couldn't use the exercise, but I prefer floor hockey to walking downstairs to use the shower. Now even more people will be forced to see me without a shirt on. Trust me, this is not pleasant for anyone involved. But hey, thanks for the good times. Hope you had fun.

Now feel free to grow the hell up."

I felt better after that, but I really do have to go downstairs to shower, which sucks. What's weird is that the bathroom I'm now forced to use has a symmetrically opposite floor plan as my usual one. So I feel like I've stepped into some bizarro, alternate universe. Which I guess would mean that instead of tearing up the bathroom, people actually deposit their paper towels in the trash and actually pee IN the toilet. Ah, a guy can dream...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, did the bathroom open up again yet? Will it ever?
And are you saying that if I go and sit in the stairwell in the morning, I get to see you w/o a shirt on?
:) ~c

Scott said...

I think you mean diametrically opposed, but that would be along a diameter...hmm. Still it's the one you hear more often. Ok, shifting out of editor mode now.

And come on Timmy, don't tell me you aren't out there flaunting it. That's one show I'm sure a few people wouldn't mind. And by mind I mean run away from screaming about the first horseman of the apoclypse. So, let's just hope the shower gets fixed before Tim brings about the end of life as we know it.


- Scott