Keep your pants on, people.

Seriously people. Keep your pants on. The one thing the Internet doesn't need more of is nudity.

Okay, so sorry I haven't posted in a week and a half. I've been pretty busy with stuff (Mafia wasn't going to beat itself, you know) and truth be told, I haven't been too inspired. Maybe I've been too busy to be inspired, or I haven't let myself be inspired. I don't know. Maybe I need to go rock climbing. Zing! (Yowza. That was a callback to my 5th post, if you can believe it. That's for the old-school fans out there. Here's a refresher if you need to catch up. I hate leaving people out of the inside jokes. Which I guess defeats the purpose of inside jokes if there's nobody outside of them. Whatever.)

So I guess I don't exactly know why I haven't posted. Here's one thing I do know: if your quality of life has decreased significantly because of my non-posting, then I have two things to say:

1) Thank you. That's very sweet.
2) Wow. Far be it for me to call your life sad, but I think I might have to. Maybe you need a hobby or something. I recommend models. No, not building them. Making out with them. Hey-oh!

Anyway, one of the things keeping me busy these days is my new internship. It's with a marketing agency called Relationship Marketing, and let me tell you, I have sold out big time. I have an office with real walls and business cards. Yeah, business cards. With my name on them. My official title is "Public Relations Coordinator" which does not have the word "intern" in it anywhere. And they pay me too, which I still think is ridiculous.

It's actually a really cool office. They have this middle area called "The Arena" where they have meetings sometimes. But that's not why it has that name. I don't think their meetings are that bloody, with battles and lions and Christians and one dude in charge who gives the thumbs down to Jerry the Mail Guy whose production is down this month and then he gets beheaded. I don't think it's like that. I don't think...well...no. It's not. I'm pretty sure.

No, they call it "The Arena" because it has a basketball hoop in it. A real hoop with a glass backboard. Pretty crazy, I know. I'm going to start working on my jump shot and have them pay me for it. There's also an area where there's a second floor of cubicles, but it's all open air, so you can see up there. And going from the second floor down to the first is a tube slide just like you would see on the playground. It's a very playful office. Unfortunately, they've had a rough time with the economy and all, so they don't employ as many people as they used to. So no one works over by the slide and the people that are still there just aren't in a sliding mood. At least not when I'm around. They better not be having slide-fests when I'm not there.

So I'll try to find the time to post more often. They won't all be marathon posts like this one, that's for sure. My schedule and your attention spans can't handle it. But in the meantime, let's all keep our pants on, shall we?

Or at least our man-pris.



P.S. For those of you keeping track, here are the results of the latest board polls.

• A tag-team of Edward Scissorhands and Wolverine handily defeated Shredder and Freddy Krueger, thanks mostly to a strong female vote for Hugh Jackman and Johnny Depp. Even at his most effeminate, Depp still snags the ladies.
• Ryu defeated Ken 13-7. HADOUKEN!!
• Most recently, in the cleverly named Sesame Street Fight, Bert took down Ernie 7-4. Who saw that one coming? Not me.