First sketch, best sketch

Well, I finally made myself sit down and commit some of the thoughts in my head for my sketch comedy show to paper. I thought I'd let you in on the process and see what you think. This first sketch is just a blackout, which means it's a short, one-joke scene used to break up the action between longer sketches or for pacing purposes. Again, I don't know if this will be funny to non-Drake people (or even to Drake people, for that matter), but I'll just say it deals with our Health Center's tendency to come to the same diagnosis for every presented symptom. Enjoy, and let me know what you think. And remember, this is meant to be performed, not read, so try to visualize it onstage.

“Health Center”

Setting: American Republic Health Center

Characters: Receptionist/Registered Nurse Practitioner/Not-a-doctor, Female Student

(Nurse is standing behind reception desk. The waiting room is empty.)

Nurse: American Republic Health Center, how may I help you? Yes, you’ll need to schedule an appointment. Okay, thank you.

(Female student enters frantically. She is limping from some injury, but still trying desperately to run. She is very scared and panicked.)

Female student: OH MY GOD, YOU’VE GOT TO HELP ME!! It’s the squirrels…the squirrels have banded together and they’re hunting in packs! My God, they’ve turned against us! They’ve developed a taste for human flesh!! I thought I could get away, but they got me! There…there was just too many of them! My God, they chewed right through my leg! I think I can see the bone! PLEASE GOD, HELP ME!!

Nurse: Okay, just calm down, young lady. I think I’ve seen something like this before. Now please just be honest…is there any chance you might be pregnant?

(blackout)