1.13.2005

ebane of my existence

I've never done a ton of stuff on ebay. Sometimes I log on and look at the ridiculous stuff people sell, but I've never bought or sold anything. Yesterday, I realized why.

First, I should explain what I was bidding on, which requires a brief explanation of my current philosophy of buying computer games. This summer, I realized that I would be away from my friends and their gaming platforms for three whole months. (When I was young, I primarily chose friends based on their ownership of a Nintendo. It's no longer the main criteria, but it's a nice ancillary benefit.) This would not do. I needed my video game fix somehow. The purchase of a new laptop coincided nicely with my decision to return to the world of computer games. But I had been away for so long. What should I do? The answer was simple.

Retroactive gaming.

It was so perfect. I went into Best Buy, but instead of ogling the newest titles with their glossy boxes and promises of advanced graphics, I went straight for the bargain rack. There, I could find quality titles that they were just trying to get rid of. Often, they would be sold in just a jewel case. That's when you know they're desperate. But they were a great price and I could be confident that they would run well on my not-built-for-gaming laptop. It's really easy - you just go back one sequel. I've never played Max Payne. Why should I skip ahead and play Max Payne 2 before I play the first one? (That's $40.00 more and a complete lack of context and backstory. No thank you.) If I've never owned Madden, Madden 2004 will be just as good as Madden 2005. I will suck at both of them, but that's not the point. (Video game football and I don't get along, probably due to the fact that I never played football, hardly watch it, and hate selecting plays. I always Hail Mary when I should fullback sweep. I still think the fullback plays defense, and why would I want to hand the ball to the other team? Wait...does the fullback play defense? Crap...)

I realize this philosophy is completely uninteresting to non-gamers. And true gamers would scoff at the idea of being a year behind. Which means that, as usual, I'm talking solely to my target audience: myself.

Anyway, back to ebay. I was bidding on a copy of Final Fantasy VII for PC, because I'm a huge dork like that. It's at least a few years old, but considered to be a classic, so they usually sell for $40 or more. I found one person who had a starting price of $24, and no one had bid, so I thought, "Sweet. No one is paying attention to this guy because he doesn't have the original box and everyone on here is a nerdy collector. I could get a great deal." So 12 hours before the auction ended, I put in a bid for the starting price.

I was monitoring it the next day *cough* at work *cough* and I was still the only bidder. I was starting to get excited. I'd been trying to find this game for a while, and now I was going to get it for a song. Here's a transcript what happened:

10 minutes left in the auction. You are the top bidder.

*Refresh*

5 minutes left in the auction. You are the top bidder.

*Refresh*

2 minutes left in the auction. You are the top bidder. "Sweet, I'm going to win!"

*Refresh*

The auction has ended. You have been outbid. "WHAT??!!" (double interrobang)

My jaw dropped. I was outbid by the princely sum of 50 cents by some dude who hadn't even made his presence known. I didn't even think anyone else was watching the freaking thing. I can just picture the guy, laughing at the newbie ebay user and swooping in to take it away in the last minute. Freaking...swooper. He's nothing but a...swoop jockey. I was upset. But I've learned my lesson. And also how to use the maximum bid feature to let ebay do the work for you. So it won't happen again.

I went home and cut up some orcs to make myself feel better. Because my new Return of the King game...over a year old. And awesome.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just want to add that ebay time is very different from real time. Whenever you have bid on something on ebay, you always know what time it is "ebay time" in the back of your mind. It could be 9am real time, but you know deep down in your soul that it's really 7 hours and 13 minutes ebay time. Am I the only one like this? And don't worry Tim, lots of people do that their first time on ebay.
Amy
P.S. Tim, thank you for the ever-entertaining posting. It was a sad break without you. Your posting makes my pathology class in Physical Therapy school more interesting. :o)

Timmy Tapeworm said...

I live to serve, Amy. Good to hear from you!