9.24.2004

Are you a friend of Sonic?

Thanks for all the great comments on the midget post, guys. Goes to show - nothing draws people together quite like midgets. They might be the closest thing we have to a universal language. I thought I should conclude that story arc by mentioning the other strange guy we saw.

Shortly after the midget had driven away in his giant Suburban, we saw a pair of gentlemen walking in the direction of one of the chain restaurants at Jordan Creek. They looked perfectly normal until they passed us. At that point, we saw something that horrified us.

He had a tail.

It obviously wasn't HIS tail, unless the X gene has begun to kick in. If that is the case, we need to get Professor X over here right away and slap this guy around for looking so ridiculous. Mutants are going to have to look a lot cooler than this guy if they want to be accepted.

No, it was attached around his waist or something. It was a long, bushy, raccoon-esque tail. If he had another one, he could have been Tails, a character from Sonic the Hedgehog. But Tails can use his tails as a helicopter-like rotor to fly around. I did not see this guy do anything like this. His only special power was to attract stares from shoppers.

The strange thing was that he seemed to be wearing the tail just as an accessory. He was not in costume - just normal street clothes, heading into P.F. Chang's or whatever the crap is out there. He seemed pretty comfortable with it, which made me wonder if it was something he wore often. Is he one of those people who really wants to be an animal? Or was it a statement of some kind?

I bet that midget would know.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, I had won free tickets to see Stomp at the Fox Theatre on Friday (Thank you 89.9). While I was there I saw, not a guy with a tail, but a kid wearing the now classic pink polo with the collar flipped up. I know this is rehashing old news, but come on! Is nothing sacred anymore? Disgracing "The Fabulous Fox" with this nightmarish trend. I'd be more accepting of the kid with the tail. I mean, a tail is one thing, but that pink-shirt-collar-flip is just... well... I'll just say it. It's re-frickin-donkulous!

Rob

Scott said...

For his sake, I hope the guy's just trying to make some kind of "fur is murder" fashion statement. Because if the X gene is kicking in (and not the one that makes you female) that guy really got the short end of the powers.

I can see him at a meeting of the mutants.
"Oh you can melt titanium with your eyes? Well, can you express joy without facial cues? I thought not, check out this wag."

What a gyp!

Anonymous said...

"Oh you can melt titanium with your eyes? Well, can you express joy without facial cues? I thought not, check out this wag."

THAT...
is hilarious.

Rob