In the past few days, I've spent many hours reading the entire archives of this guy's blog: Waiter Rant. It's the stories of a waiter in a small upscale bistro in NYC. He's a very good writer and tells some great stories. He also has a compelling and slightly mysterious backstory (apparently he was in training for the priesthood at one point), so it's definitely worth checking out.
A couple random things from the neighborhood:
- There's a restaurant across the street from my apartment that has two neon signs in the window. One says, "We serve breakfast all day." Great. Who doesn't like breakfast. The other says, "Chicken Teriaki noodles" and has a picture of noodles in a pot. Okay, slightly weird. But now combine it with the actual name of the restaurant that is proudly displayed on the green awning above the window - "Hamburger King." I for one, refuse to eat at any restaurant with dissociative identity disorder.
- I was walking home from a show the other night and looked in the window of one of the many bars near my apartment. On their giant, pull-down screen onto which I assume major sporting events are normally projected, there was instead...Charlie Rose. And he was huge. That bar was pretty rocking that night, because drunk people love Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
9 comments:
Yeah, I noticed him (Waiter Rant) on the Bloggies, but only gave him a cursory glance. Not bad. I wasn't particularly wowed. For instance he currently has two lists up. Lists were lame when Letterman did them, and they're lame now. I'd probably let it slide if it was one list. But two back to back? I must frown upon thee sir.
Any suggested reading from him? A best-of list maybe? Some glimmer of redeeming value?
I await your answer.
- Scott
Yeah, lists are lame, but I think those are about the only two lists he's ever done. Bad first impression, I know, but try to withhold judgement. Here are some good ones, I think.
http://waiterrant.net/?p=262
http://waiterrant.net/?p=244
http://waiterrant.net/?p=86
http://waiterrant.net/?p=166
http://waiterrant.net/?p=194
http://waiterrant.net/?p=238
This is a pretty funny two-parter:
http://waiterrant.net/?p=179
http://waiterrant.net/?p=180
And I think this one was my favorite.
http://waiterrant.net/?p=81
I know they're not coded, because I don't know HTML and I don't care to make the effort. I just went through that whole archive picking the best posts, so you can deal with a little copy and paste. AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY ABOUT IT!!
It's funny, here I am swamped in work. I have an incomplete senior project that's due Monday, and after I posted asking about a best-of list I went back and read it anyway. I decided he was a good writer on the Gloria Cubano, which happens to be the first link you posted later on.
Although sometimes I think he's somewhat self conscious about being wordy. Like when he said "curlicues of tumbling chaos." It felt a bit forced. But overall the guy is pretty good.
I wonder how old he is? If he was in the seminary 20 years ago I'm placing him around 40. 40 and a waiter? Hmm. Still decent blog. It's no Wonder Blog, or a Not All Who Wander are Lost, but he does keep a theme going and that's nice.
*le sigh* Back to work on my pass/fail college paper.
- Scott
this is totally random, but i just had a dream about you!
hahaha.
quite random, indeed.
hope all is well TIM!
-faiiinstr
i think that the dream was totally a definition of a "dream".. meaning that it is WAY too racy to even type out in your comments...
in short, we totally were dating.
and in the words of paris hilton, "that's hot."
puhahah...
mmhmm it was nice to wake up to though... cause for that split second.. the dream was so vivid, that it felt as though it was totally real... haha..
bye my love!!
xoxo (o;
That's hilarious anonymous admirer of Tim. Not just because you're (inexplicably) having middle school health class film dreams about Timmy*, but because I had one about him last night too. Well not the health class style dream. But a dream nonetheless.
The dream was this: Tim was doing some pretty decent standup in a very steep auditorium. Like the third row was practically a nosebleed. Tim was out on the stage, casual. Black t-shirt, kakhi pants, delivering his bits into the mic with an easy confidence of someone who absolutely doesn't care what this audience thinks of him... yet they were loving him for it.
All of a sudden some old woman seated amongst a gaggle of old women starts heckling our boy Timmy. At first he just responds with a kind of shrugging motion ignoring her, but she becomes more and more disruptive and finally crosses that line where the comic can retaliate without alienating the rest of the audience. And so he does. I remember laughing because the exchange was pretty hilarious.
The last part of their exchange went like this:
Heckling Old Woman: Your job is easy, I could get up and do this. You couldn't do my job.
Tim: You kno-
But as he starts to speak a midget riding a pig (or large dog) bursts into the scene, entering stage right. He guides the pig up the aisle right past the HOW. The audience is in an up roar. Hell has broken loose. Tim restores order and brings down the house with a well timed line in the stunned confusion of a midget riding a pig through another wise non-surreal standup act saying:
"Now THAT I couldn't do."
And... scene.
That's what I woke up with. And I hadn't even been drinking!
- Scott
* I'm just kidding, we all know he's sexy.
That. is. bizarre.
I'm impressed that I was able to come up with such a great line under pressure. I'm also impressed that YOU were able to come up with such a great line subconciously. Also, I'm glad I'm hilarious in your dreams.
Because I'm hilarious. In MY dreams!
Hey-oh!
P.S. Faiiinstr, we're totally making out.
Pfft. I can pull lines like that off in my sleep. Clearly I mean this literally.
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