Hold the phone. Batten the hatches. Lock up your daughters. It has finally come to pass.
One of the Ryder brothers owns a gaming platform.
After a childhood full of anguish from not owning a Nintendo (despite many requests), a tortured adolescence spent going to friends' houses to play Goldeneye*, and a college career in which I spent more time in other people's dorm rooms than my own, just because they had Soul Caliber II**, the cycle of depravity has ended.
Apparently, getting married is AWESOME. Besides the fact that you pledge yourself to another person and all that hullaballoo, people give you a TON of cool stuff. Josh no longer goes anywhere unless he knows he's going to receive a gift at his destination. And he and Allyn now have a real fountain in their apartment that showers a cascade of Target gift cards. It's right in the middle of their kitchen. Very weird, but extremely opulent.
Josh has managed to convince everyone that matters (i.e. Allyn, Mom, himself) that basic mastery of video games is an essential skill for today's youth minister. Ergo, buying a Playstation 2 can be counted as a business expense/preparation for a career of molding the minds of youth. So he swiped a few Target gift cards from the fountain and did just that. He and I were rocking out at Lord of the Rings: Return of the King last night (He was Aragorn. I was Legolas. And we were awesome.) And Allyn was really enjoying my gift of Super Puzzle Fighter, which she inexplicably refers to as Jewel Thief. Good times.
Man, anybody want to have a fake wedding and scam some gifts***?
*Which I still suck at.
**Of which I remain the CHAMPION OF THE UNIVERSE.
***Scarlett Johansson, I'm looking in your direction.
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The transcribed wanderings of one man in a big world.
About Me
- Timmy Tapeworm
- I will take you down in 4.2 seconds. Just give me an excuse.
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7 comments:
*You know, that Goldeneye is an alright game... but have you heard of PerfectDark? It's amazing! It let's you jump off ledges! The guns are better! IT CURES CANCER!
Plus the Klobb is the most worthless gun of all time. No Klobb's in PerfectDark...
** YOU HAVE NEVER DEFEATED MY RAPHAEL!
*** My pick would of course be Rachel McAdams.
- Scott
*PerfectDark for N64 is amazing. My sister and I still play it on a fairly regular basis. We always turn on the friendly fire function and inevitably one of us will get really mad at the other and the fists will start flying. One of my favorite memories is once when she was being a brat and antagonizing me so I turned and planted a bullet right in her head and finished the level without her. Perfect Dark is like the outlet for her and I to work out our disagreements. It's cheaper than therapy. My parents, unlike yours, bought me my first nintendo for my 5th birthday.
**until I get my gamecube this fall. yes, I've decided on a gamecube because 1) you can play link on soul caliber 2, 2) the new zelda game is coming out and 3) I can't change my loyalty now. I will always be a Nintendo girl.
***Link from Zelda or Sirius Black. Wait, do they have to be real people?
Keri
pfft, everyone knows that Christ has no place in video games! Unless your brother buys "Bible Adventures" for the NES.
Thanks, Kristen. I deleted your comment, not because it wasn't great, but because the whole Internet doesn't need to know your contact info.
i'm coming to a town near Chicago on Labor day weekend. Oh yeah and the ending of that e-mail address that i gave you earlier is stumail.lccs.edu not the other way. Thanks for deleting that earlier. I didn't know what other way to send it to you though! Talk to you later! Sorry about this craziness with the postings, but i don't know what else to do!
(In keeping with the *theme)
* You'll never sell me on a game by saying: But it's got all the levels and stuff Goldeneye has and much more. Goldeneye was the original and it was perfect... no improvements needed. So if I'm playing for nastalgia sake, why would I play less than the original. Just like how I keep going back to Mario 1.
** Soul Calibur is the button masher's dream. I like the game. More importantly, Ro really likes the game. I think there needs to be a Ro vs Tim Champion of the Universe Match.
*** Kristen Kruek (Smallville's last season starts in a month)
tim
*i dont get it whats the theme.Ha Ha . i Will marry you . ha got to you on your own BLog .ha
thats right me phillip .ha.
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