Now that's what I call POWER GAMES

Hey, go check out this site really quick. Seriously, just click on the link and look around for a second. It's not anything gross, it's just a website that sells a video game machine.

Now ask yourself this question: Would you buy anything from that website?

I mean, it's only a non-licensed product that plugs into your TV and lets you play 111 old Nintendo games, right? Nothing out of the ordinary. But let's consider the warning signs, shall we?

#1 - The fantastic page copy that begins, "Okay well you know about the Original All-In-One Classic Game System, but you don't know about this!!" and later exclaims, "Not to mention you can play actual Famicom & NES cartridge games all in wireless glory if you choose. Gaming Euphoria!" Now THAT's some good, professionally-written copy.

#2 - The actual packaging says nothing about what the product does, only that it was made in China and may have something to do with bare-chested men kickboxing what appear to be killer robots of some kind.

#3 - The system itself resembles a penguin.

#4 - One of their "glowing customer reviews" is literally from Jane Doe.

#5 - Clicking the "Contact Us" link will reveal that they operate out of a P.O. Box in Chicago. There's an e-mail address, but no phone number. Take that, authorities trying to track them down!

#6 - In their FAQ, the question "Is there a warranty on the system?" is answered as such: "Yes, when you purchase these systems directly from us you get a full staff for customer service questions and full warranty support." Ah, I see. Very detailed warranty. Very comforting.

#7 - The controller is wireless. This is awesome, but if you want to play two player, you have to plug the second controller into the first controller. Double awesome.

Additional warning signs not seen on website:

#1 - A kiosk at the Springfield mall was selling these not more than a month ago. I went back recently - the kiosk was deserted.

#2 - A sign posted in my local Game XChange read, "Ask the clerk about our special non-licensed Nintendo game players! $35!" It was not out for display - you had to ask to see it. This is literally an item being sold out of the back room.

That's a lot of warning signs.



I still bought it.

It's the shadiest thing I've ever bought.

And it's the coolest thing ever.

The menu claims that it actually is 12,000 games in one. However, a little investigation reveals that it's only the original 111 games given hundreds of other names by the crazy Chinese programmers. For example, any attempt to boot up the game Policeman and Thief results in the game Paperboy.

Also, the thing still looks like a penguin. Even worse, when you push the power button (its nose), the eyes light up and it looks like a demonic penguin is staring at you. And you can't turn it away, because then the wireless receiver doesn't read the incoming signal. But you can plug the light gun into the side of it and play Duck Hunt, which Allyn does gleefully.

Oh, did I mention I bought it as a wedding present for Josh and Allyn?

Allyn is an old-school gamer at heart and loves Super Mario Brothers more than anything, so I thought she's appreciate the chance to play it on a system that resembles a demonic penguin. (And you should see the body english that girl uses when she really needs Mario to jump far. It's amazing.)

So if there are authorities looking for the owners of these slightly shady machines, I can give you their address.