You'd think that at a Springfield Muni production of "Beauty and the Beast," all the laughs would come from the show. You'd think that, but you'd be wrong. It's Hambone.
Actually, I didn't know his name. At this fateful evening, most of my hearty laughs were earned before the show by the totally adorable young lad in the seat to my right. When I got there, it was raining off and on, to the point that the outdoor show was in jeopardy. So the little boy's Grandma was fashioning a poncho for him out of a garbage bag, a la Garden State. Now picture the little ball of energy, about 5 or 6, SO excited that he gets to see dancing teacups on stage tonight. We have this exchange as a sort of introduction:
Boy: (to me) I'm wearing a garbage bag!
Me: Yeah, you are.
Boy: (to audience in general) I'M WEARING A GARBAGE BAG!! (dances around)
Hilarious. But the fun did not stop there. In response to his query as to how much time was remaining before the show started, his Grandma said there was about two minutes, so if he counted to sixty twice, the show would start. This was his obvious reaction, which Grandma really should have seen coming:
Boy: (again, to audience in general) ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN!
I think he got into the teens before Grandma got embarrassed and made him quiet down. Meanwhile, I'm shaking from laughter in the seat next to him. But he kept going. At some point he got impatient:
Boy: (to stage) C'MON, START IT!!
But my favorite thing he said all night (and his little show only took place before the curtain rose. I think he was asleep by intermission.) was this:
Boy: (to I-don't-know-who) EVERYBODY SWITCH SEATS!!
As I noted, I don't know who he was yelling at. Maybe he was just yelling at his family in the couple of seats next to him, maybe he was yelling at the entire row, maybe he meant for the entire audience to get up and switch seats with someone. I don't know. But man, how much fun would it have been if everyone had done it?
At what age do we learn to be embarrassed? Can I go back and skip it?
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5 comments:
that kid RULES! i am trying that at a show sometime. i'm not doing a bit. why wouldn't you switch?
...and that boy? well, he grew up to be roberto benigni!
Why can't I post a comment?! Tim your blog has suddenly become completely fachist. Not only did it NOT post my first one, when I went back to see if it was still there on the comment screen it was DELETED. Your blog then kicked me in the nuts and took half my money.
In an unrelated story, that boy is AWESOME. As a kid I always got a big laugh out of the Mad Hatter and his "SWITCH SEATS!" bit, and it kind of stings that the kid used it before I did, but still hilarious.
- Scott
P.S. Having no embarrassment gene is really great. Trust me.
Communist plots...
"I was a worker she was a commie, I had a job, she had fatigues."
Ike Reilly quote of the day
You haven't reached that age Tim. At least not yet....
Must I remind you of the "hump everything in raph's room" stage? Yeah that was last spring.
Keri
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