It's not really him. Well, it could be.

I was feeling a deficiency of whatever vitamin you get from direct sunlight, so I took my lunch to the plaza and ate outside today.

Lenny Kravitz was nonplussed.

That's a promise I make to you, the American people

Look, I've got nothing against the French as a whole, but this is ridiculous.

The name, yes. Obviously. But also the fact that a wanna-be French bistro is touting its quesadillas.

I will never eat here.

It is truly a historic day

My brother Josh has somehow conned his way into a position as Youth Minister at a church in northern Illinois. Yesterday, he informed me that I made the cut to be some sort of beneficiary and I should call him with important information that he should probably already know.

Josh: Associate Pastor in charge of Youth Ministry.
Me: Really? That's how you're going to answer the phone?
Josh: I haven't worked it out entirely. It's my second day.

It should be noted that most of his first day was taken up with hiking. Apparently, youth minister office hours = hiking on the clock.

Me: Hey, this is pretty fun. I'm calling your work phone from my work phone. I even had to get past your receptionist.
Josh: Mom would probably want a picture of this moment, if only she could figure out how.
Me: I'll just take a picture of me on the phone and you take a picture of you and we'll put them together in post. I'm getting my camera now.

(I step away from the mic to get my camera.)

Me: Okay, I'm taking the picture now...done. I took it. Did you take yours?
Josh: ...
Josh: You're an idiot.

Start the skinny jokes

Are we still in the dog days of summer? I should look up what that means. I can't imagine it just implies there are dogs around. That doesn't seem special at all. There are always dogs around.

Ah, we certainly are still in them.

At any rate, it's been really hot in Chicago recently. As much as I longed for these days in February, now I find myself just longing for a time when I can walk home without having to change shirts afterwards.

When I wait for the bus in the morning, I seek out whatever shade I can. The above picture is my view on most mornings. It's what passes for Chicago foliage on certain corners.

But necessary

This is just getting ridiculous.

Wanted: some peace and quiet, dagnabit!

This weekend, among many other exciting adventures, our neighborhood turned Hollywood as the motion picture Wanted, starring Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie, filmed nearby.

On Saturday there were a few big trucks around and Tara, swept up in the excitement, took Jon and my cousin Quinn to investigate. They hoped to see at least a glimpse of a big star but caught only "a lot of wires."

On Sunday things got even more exciting as the streets got even more crowded. The picture is a view from my window at a trailer below. Tara, again swept up in the excitement, proclaimed it to be an actor's trailer. We quickly decided it was Morgan Freeman's.

My mind quickly drifted into daydreamland. I was walking down the steps on the way to the outside world when Mr. Narration himself stepped out of the trailer. "Good morning, Mr. Freeman," I'd say nonchalantly. "It's an honor to have you in our neighborhood."

"Why thank you, young man," he'd reply. "How would you like to accompany me to the set? The actor playing my son just fell ill and I think you'd be a perfect replacement.* And please, call me Morgan." And we would be the best of friends for all of time!

Later, I really did walk downstairs and snuck a look in the trailer. It held mostly catering supplies.


* Don't overthink it.

Don't worry, kids. No spoilers.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, everyone. I've got a bad case of Harry Potter Fever and in this day and age, that translates into a healthy case of spoiler-phobia.

Of course, this doesn't really explain why I haven't posted. It's not like I've been completely avoiding the Internet. Even if I had, it's not like I would run into spoilers on my own blog. I'd have to post them myself.

Let's just accept that my excuses are pointless and move on.

It has been quite a nerdy couple of weeks, however. I was silly enough to attend a midnight premiere of "Order of the Phoenix*" with some ComedySportz and Second City friends. I think I was the only one headed to a day job in the morning. That's how dedicated/reckless I am. And I reread "Half-Blood Prince" to get ready. And last night I watched "Goblet of Fire" on demand**.

Tonight I'm going to a midnight book release of the seventh and final book. I'm looking forward to some costumes and general silliness.

Boy, this is a great time to be a nerd.


* Strange midnight premiere phenomena: the entire crowd turning into a "Saved By the Bell" studio audience and oooohing when Harry and Cho kissed. Come on, people. We've all read the books. Were you surprised by this turn of events?

** Hey, On Demand is a fun thing. Rebecca thinks Harry Potter is dumb but thinks Star Wars is awesome, so it balances. When we discovered all the Star Wars episodes were available free through HBO On Demand, we watched Eps. III, V and VI in the span of a couple weekends. What a cool girlfriend I have***.

*** Haven't done the footnote bit in a while****. It's still fun.

***** Who am I kidding, I haven't posted in a while.

I guessed it right away

The men of ComedySportz (heretoafter known as Champion's Club) met at Lincoln Square Lanes for a long-awaited outing last night. The ladies of CSz meet fairly regularly for fun times. The guys never do. So this was a big deal, and the 7 people who came really enjoyed themselves.

In this picture, Martin is ironically using the hand dryer.

Me: I'm always surprised to discover that the hand dryer still exists. In my mind, it's solely a conceit for improvisers to signify a setting or activity.
Martin: Ah, like so many things in life.

It is kind of a sad truth. I can think of a few things where I knew of the joke before I knew of the reality, Joe Cocker first and foremost among them.

Adventures in advance promotion

Rebecca and I had about an hour to kill before we saw "Knocked Up" the other night. (It was very funny and sweet, but 2 hours and 9 minutes? Come on, Apatow. Save some jokes for the DVD.)

Anyway, we amused ourselves by taking pictures of each other with the various large promotional pieces scattered around the lobby.

We decided to skip the large "Balls of Fury" cutout, even though it had a designated space where you could stand and stick your head through so it looked like you were in the cast. Neither of us even wanted to pretend to be in that movie.

I took a picture with the Underdog poster, but even though I enjoy Jason Lee, a live-action flying dog does nothing but blaspheme yet another treasured childhood memory, so I will refrain from sharing that here.

After about 15 minutes of this nonsense, we decided to go upstairs to the theaters. There we found a Galaga machine and immediately regretted wasting those 15 minutes.

Brilliant, the Vic. Just brilliant.

Yep. Those certainly are two movies with motorcycles in them.

It's normally Concordes. That's the joke.

This is the latest installment of me telling everyone who reads this about what's happening in my life by sharing a funny video I found on the Internet.

Flight of the Conchords is New Zealand's fourth most popular folk-comedy duo. And they've parlayed that impressive standing into a series on HBO. You can watch the entire first episode on the Internet. If the first episode is any indication, it should be pretty great.

After I stumbled upon that episode, I watched everything I could find of theirs on YouTube, which includes some pretty great songs like the full version of The Humans are Dead, Business Time and the Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros.

I realize I'm probably pretty late to this train. If so, why has no one informed me about this train? Were there not tickets available at an earlier time? Was there a closer stop to my apartment than the one I found? Please, people. Trains like this need to be boarded.

(S)Kid nation

You guys, this is what reality programming is all about. Intricate Machiavellian social experiments, broadcast for the enlightenment of Americans.

Starring 40 children.

Get ready to cheer, cry and be appalled at the parents who would let their child be on this show. Seriously, why couldn't you just send your kids to summer camp like the rest of your book club?

10 years of improv communism

As you may infer from the logo, The Playground is celebrating its 10th Anniversary this week. The Senate was asked to open last night's show, which was an honor we jumped upon with vigorous abandon, if indeed that is something one can do. It is possible I am combining several phrases for effect.

At any rate, The Playground is a great theater that has been a wonderful place to perform in my relatively short time in the city. And it's the nation's first non-profit improv co-op. So that's something. Take that, other theaters who have actual owners.

Check this place out if you're ever in town, but especially this week. It's a great place and I hope it's around for another 10 years and more.


In other news, my brother just called. He's hanging around LAX on a layover before he and his wife go to Hawaii. Within three minutes, he met Supernanny and saw Calista Flockhart and Rob Lowe.

I said he should have asked Rob Lowe about Atomic Train. He said that, in his mind, he punched Rob Lowe in the face.

What a magical fairyland!

This was a children's show?

Seriously, you guys. I don't know why we weren't more terrified of this show at the time. Because looking at it now, we should have run for our lives.

Maybe it's the mostly black backgrounds, signifying that this show is taking place in some kind of vortex where no light dare show its face.

Maybe it's the super-creepy puppets with tall teeth and horrible hair and faces ripped from the very fabric of evil itself.

Maybe it's the overall sense of foreboding that comes from that echoing "Hall of Fame." *shiver*

Regardless, it was, and remains to be, a very strange show. But I guess it taught me about letters?

Thanks for the nightmares, Letter People!



P.S. And it was produced by KETC in St. Louis? I trusted you, KETC!

P.P.S. Check out this one for a Mr. X who talks like Jimmy Stewart and then the trippiest Letter People song EVER. No wonder it never made it to air.

On the shoulders of (kinda short) giants

So the ComedySportz CIF show went really well, thanks to a house full of screaming high school band kids. We get it, band geeks. Say a musical term and you'll scream in recognition. Name a specific instrument and that section will cheer with pride. If that section is two or less people (I'm looking at you, Sousaphones), those two dudes will stand up and pump their arms in representation of all Sousaphone players everywhere.

It's almost Pavlovian at this point. And I love it.

It was still a great show even apart from the easily excitable band kids. I was really honored to be chosen to play in the CIF show with MadTV's Frank Caeti*. I think I was the only person onstage who had been playing with CSz for less than 4 or 5 years. Maybe all the other newbies were busy doing their one-person show and getting a development deal with Comedy Central, I don't know. But I still feel pretty proud about it.

It's still cool to feel proud about things, right guys? Shut up.


* Super nice guy.

He played Sweetchuck

This week is the Chicago Improv Festival, which means that a lot of cool shows are going on and a few comedy celebrities are hanging about. This makes for pretty fun times. Unfortunately, the only shows I have time to go to are the ones that I'm in.

Which of course isn't bad. I'm very proud to be a part of two shows in CIF this year. One, pictured above, was on Wednesday - a special edition of The Improv Match Game. Tim Kazurinsky (not pictured) of SNL and Police Academy fame, played on the panel and Tim Meadows was seen to be hanging around the bar*.

Check out this clip of The Improv Match Game on WGN Morning News. Proof that sometimes, even morning newscasters can be stupid. (You'll notice I played no part in it. I'm the announcer for The IMG, so there was really nothing for me to do. Plus it was super early.)

And then tonight, I'm in the offical ComedySportz entry into CIF. I'll be playing against a team captained by MadTV's Frank Caeti. Frank was a great ComedySportz player when he was in Chicago and has been a champion for (and of) the theater ever since, so I'm really looking forward to it.


* It's annoying, but there seem to be a lot of Tims in comedy. Aside from those two examples, I can think of at least 5 or 6 other Tims in the Chicago improv scene off the top of my head. Are Tims more sociologically predisposed to be funny? Or at least desire attention? Someone should do a study.

Who wouldn't want to swing on a star, really.

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this one. I come to you, my friends of discerning and sharply-honed taste in all matters of popular culture.

Stardust is, ostensibly, a major motion picture. I can only assume that it will be released in theaters somewhere around the vicinity of August 10th.

You may now take a couple minutes to enjoy the trailer for said motion picture.

On the surface, it has many elements that seem to imply quality. It's based on a graphic novel by Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess. That's some solid geek cred right there. It has, if not a blockbuster main cast, at least some wonderful secondary casting: Ricky Gervais, as pretty much the same guy as always. And I think the world has waited quite long enough to see Robert DeNiro as a sky pirate, thank you. Plus, it's a magical world of fantasy and adventure. What more could you want?

Here then, are my questions:

1) Should we be excited?
2) If so, why aren't we excited yet?

I just happened to find this trailer during my weekly perusal of the Apple trailer site. This is not the sort of thing one should stumble upon whilst carousing about the Interwebs. That pleasure is reserved for things like Russian Ark (96-minute take, cooler in idea than in execution) or discovering that they made a sequel to Cube.

I know that August leaves a lot of time for a big marketing push, but still. For a movie that looks as expensive as this one does, you would think the name would come up from time to time. People have been talking about Transformers for some time now and we're just starting to get official trailers and whatnot.

Why then, has there been no mention of DeNiro as a sky pirate?

Perhaps people have been talking about Stardust and I merely assumed they were speaking of the Ziggy variety. If that is the case, I do not apologize. It is an excellent song.

See, here's the exception

Happy anniversary, Rebecca. We did it! A picture with a quilt in the background! Hooray!

You know what's NOT typical? Ro getting all mad about stuff.

MUTEMATH - "Typical"

Hey, look everybody! A really cool music video! Nothing to get upset about here!

Sure, the filming stuff then playing it backward thing has been done (see: Coldplay's "The Scientist," among others), but it's still pretty cool! Certainly nothing to get all riled up about! No sir. No excessive outbursts needed in the comment section of THIS post!

Seriously though. People are mad because I don't talk much about or post pictures of my girlfriend (who is, without a doubt, pretty awesome)? Here's why:

a) I'm not a 14-year-old with a Livejournal. Some things are private.
b) It would make Ro happy. From here on out, I'm basing all blog (and really, life) choices on how much they could potentially frustrate Ro. Because I think it's pretty funny.
c) Rebecca has yet to have a picture taken of her in this lifetime that she would approve for public consumption. I like them, but she's picky.

So it's doubtful that you'll be seeing much of her, not because I'm not proud, but because I'm not a jerk.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule...


P.S. That is a pretty cool video, right? Come on.

Seriously, she was good

This is Addie. Well, technically it's Addie and me, but I figured most of you would recognize me. Addie is the dog.

I met Addie when I went with my girlfriend Rebecca to visit her family in Texas over Easter. Addie is a relatively new addition to the family, so both Rebecca and I were meeting her for the first time. We learned many things about her, such as:

• Her favorite toy is a little tire on a rope, which she will slobber all over and then dare you to grab it from her mouth.
• She is an excellent jumper, especially when attempting to get the tire on a rope.
• Just when I've calmed her down enough to pet her, she can be riled up again by Rebecca singing Abba songs and excitedly waving her arms. She will then jump some more. (Addie, not Rebecca.)
• She is easily excitable, especially by snow.
  

Yes, snow. Texas over Easter weekend = 3 inches of snow. Addie liked to eat it.

Most of my pictures from the weekend are of Addie because she was such a good girl.