I noticed recently that there are not one, but two reggae clubs within a few blocks of my apartment. I pass one of them, Exedus II, every time I walk to IO. I don't know where the first Exedus is, but wherever it is, I assume it was forced out of somewhere else to get there. Too bad I'm not into reggae clubs. I'd be in heaven. Reggae heaven.
It is a widely known fact among those that know me that I am a pretty big wuss when it comes to scary things. Blame it on Mom for not letting Josh and I play with guns, blame it on Mom for not letting Josh and I play football, or blame it on Mom for not letting Josh and I run away from that killer clown, but no matter where you place the blame, I am not one of those people that enjoys the sensation of being scared.
And now Halloween is upon us and scary things are everywhere. Tara was telling me about her experiences in the haunted corn maze the other night and I mentioned how much I hate those kind of things. She took some sort of perverse delight in my discomfort and latched onto the idea of going to a haunted house. A professional one. In fact, this one. Statesville Haunted Prison.
People, I couldn't even make it through the flash intro to the website. That chainsaw-wielding clown running down the red-checkered hallway* with the strobe light gave me the jibblies like you can't imagine.
Seriously, I can't deal with haunted things. I couldn't even handle the neighborhood haunted house that the Bears used to do at their house every year. Heck, I didn't even want to do the one at the Groppel's Halloween party**, and that pretty much consisted of walking down a dark hallway with fog and putting your hands in a bowl of peeled grapes.
But this is a professional haunted house and Tara's all, "We should probably go," and I'm like, "No, 'cause I'll probably die," and then Statesville Haunted Prison will forever bill themselves as the place so scary, it killed a guy***.
Comment fodder: Haunted house experiences, good and bad.
*However, "Red-Checkered Rundown" is a great name for either a ska band or an improv troupe.
**Am I imagining this? I'm pretty sure the Groppels were involved somehow, but that makes no sense. Shouldn't they have hated Halloween? Jerseyville people, back me up here.
***Best tagline for a haunted house ever.
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The transcribed wanderings of one man in a big world.
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- Timmy Tapeworm
- I will take you down in 4.2 seconds. Just give me an excuse.
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11 comments:
so i clicked on the link...i couldnt make it through the intro either...*shiver*
since my birthday is the day after halloween, my friends think that is a super birthday activity and like you, i HATE that stuff, which was kind of the point ...they took me to this haunted house. i almost broke my friend chris' hand, but i made it through...but one girl who came with us was more freaked out than i was and these four guys came after her at the exit alley with chain saws...she ran into the bathroom screaming, locked herself in a stall and proceeded to SOB...it took us 20 minutes to get her to come out.
another time in tulsa, we went to this thing called the nightmare. it is one of the local churches and they do it as an outreach event. well, salvation message attached or not, scary guys in demonic paint are no bueno...one guy who was there wouldnt stop harassing our friend mandy (by harass i mean this is the only haunted house i have been to where people can touch you, but you cant touch them...its eerie...like fighting against the urge to defend yourself)and our friend dan got in his face and almost got himself kicked out...
in conclusion: the stress of a haunted house is NOT fun
Quick post, I'll get into elaboration later. The haunted house was indeed in conjunction with the Groppel's. However it actually took place in my garage's second floor. Remember? And downstairs there was a wicked awesome party? The Groppel's only contribution was inviting some people (i.e. people they wanted their daughter to marry off with (i.e. you)) and putting broken egg shells on the ground and saying it was "bones".
I promptly swept "the bones" up and put them down the back of Joe's shirt.
- Scott
Why is it ALWAYS my fault? I think it is a matter of personal preference, not genetics or environment. I get blamed for everything you don't like about yourself......... Oh, by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Mom
I'm just teasing, Mom. You know I wouldn't change anything about myself. You're great.
J-fi, demonic people allowed to touch you in a haunted environment = outreach event? Way to blow it, Tulsa.
Scotty, I knew it! Your garage, eh? How do you like that. Guess I screwed up getting married to Katie though. Eh, she did okay for herself.
You never wanted to play football, you were always too fat. I do remember the party in question, there was some dry ice and some other stuff. I was more scared at the Bear's haunted house. I remember I was the Phantom of the Opera and was just psyched to have a cape. I wish capes were more socially acceptible. Reason 256 Hogwart rules.
Unrelated to the post....
I have in my possession the new Kill Bosby record with the REMASTERED version of Jeni Richards.... I thought of you... awwwwww touching moment
perverse pleasure?
perverse pleasure?
...
so?
you guys, timbaland is a wimpout. he is hilariously skittish, and if ye were in my position, you would do only the same.
i'm not saying i love red-checkered rundowns, but i am saying i love tim cry during red-checkered rundowns.
who's with me?
i think my non-fear (well, less-fear) relies on the fact that i worked at a jaycees haunted house for two years. that way, you see how things are done, and it's much less scary in the daytime.
things that scare me:
movies like the shining
movies like saw II
botox-face
racism
in addition, tim, you better blog about your b-day - we've gotta have an official way to say we love you!
also, axe murderers.
Hi Tim's Mom!
~J
P.S. As I'm sure you can guess, I'm not a fan of haunted houses either. I'm such a wimp, I'm not even clicking the link to see the flash intro.
saw II...not even gonna go there...the first one was enough to give me nightmares...ugh...i mean, sociopaths are in a creepy league all their own
So when I was a junior in high school, I went to this haunted house with my friends Ann and Aaron. I was being my usual high school self when I spied a dummy handing low from a noose in a tree. Being a high schooler, I naturally punched it in the crotch. However, when he groaned and fell out of the tree it was obvious that it was probably not a dummy. He tried to recover his character by saying "Rarrrrrrr... *cough* oh, God." He then tackled my friend Ann.
Best 6 bucks I ever spent.
AM
i thought of another one...yet another birthday activity...sigh...but there as these two guys in the haunted house with rats...i heard this incredibly loud, shrill scream from behind me thinking my friend brit freaked out only to find 6'4" josh, squealing like a girl and hiding behind 4'11" brit....i laughed so hard i cried...
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