Drug commercials on TV really creep me out. Seriously, it was bad enough when it was just stuff for heartburn and toe fungus, but they've really gotten out of hand. Every other commercial is "Ask your doctor about Pephedril" or "Maybe the purple pill is right for you" and half the time they don't even say what it's for! It's just a bunch of spinny happy people and pills flying around in a tripped-out fantasy world. And they make you think that Pephedril is the greatest thing in the entire world when it's really just a treatment for sickle cell or malaria or something stupid that no one gets.
But the absolute worst - the ones that make me cringe and change the channel if I even catch a glimpse of them: penis pills. It started with Viagra, which was bad enough: Creepy old Bob Dole talking about Viagra helping his marraige. That's really not something I'm comfortable hearing about. But now we have a whole slew of them - there's Cialis, with its masterful slogan of "If a relaxing moment turns into the right moment, will you be ready?" and its warnings of erections that last over three hours needing medical attention. There's whatever impotence drug Mike Ditka is lending his name to, telling people to "get back in the game." What game? What the crap are you talking about? If you're peddling a pill for impotence, just say that this pill can help with impotence! Don't make a clumsy, unspecific metaphor out of it.
And of course, the creepiest of all penis pill commercials: Enzyte, the only prescription drug for natural male enhancement. Did you know that Enzyte hasn't even been approved by the FDA? It's in the small print at the end of the commercial, but by that time, you're already hypnotized into submission by the crazy stylized music and acting. So beware: it may seem all official, but mark my words: One day you start taking Enzyte and the next thing you know, you have a giant thumb. That's all I'm saying.
Ask your doctor to see if this blog entry is right for you.
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2 comments:
By the way, Mike Ditka is shilling for a drug called Levitra... and the game he refers to is sex.
Ahhhh! What have I done? I can't write the word sex on the internet!
AM
Tim, Many of your family members share your dislike of "those commercials." I wonder if we have a hangup about the whole issue, or is it just in bad taste?
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